Frustration, Conflict and the Art of Zen

Things aren't always easy.

Heck, they aren't even easy half of the time.  Thus is life.  A multitude of decisions, both big and small, made daily.  And sometimes those decisions are at odds, which makes things even more difficult than they already are.

Why do I bring this up?  Because what I'm trying to do with my art is in one of those places now.

I've listened to advice from a number of professors in school.  I've listed to literally dozens of interviews done with successful artists.  I've read countless discussions and articles and how-to's on process and problem solving in art.  And with the knowledge I've gleaned from this, I can form a picture of the progression of an artist's career, what they should be doing at what point, and where I personally am in that progression.

 Right now, I'm still in a formative stage where exploration of materials and techniques takes precedence over message and content.  There's little consistency from one work to the next, as there is a lot of experimentation happening.  As the process progresses, I will start getting a better feel for not only what it is I want to do, but how I want to do it, which will then result in more consistency.

And here's where the conflict comes in: What I should be doing, and what I'm actually doing. Being at this stage, what I should be doing is simply producing as much work as I can, learning as much as I can.  I know that at least a few of my professors would tell me that I shouldn't be selling this work.  In fact, I should probably destroy it, to make sure that I have no poor works in circulation in the future.  But what am I doing?  Just the opposite.

It's a conflict of interests.  Advice from experienced professionals tells me I shouldn't be trying to make money on my work right now, and shouldn't for probably another year or two at least.  But life and debt tell me that I need that money desperately, and can't let any opportunity to monetize my work pass me by.  Frustration ensues.  It's a conundrum.

I don't believe there's a right answer available to me for solving this conundrum.  That doesn't mean I have to stress over it though.  The Art of Zen says I should ignore such negative thoughts and simply enjoy life.  Do what will make me happy, enjoy the experience.  Sell my work, enjoy any positives that result.  If any negatives result, don't dwell on them.  Just move on and focus on the positives.  At least, that's how I interpret it.  And aren't the guys you meet that have that zen attitude down always the coolest guys around?  lol.

In the end, it's all just about finding happiness, and how to get there.  I have a tendency to rebel against constraints that say I shouldn't do something when it comes to my art, so ignoring career advice isn't so difficult for me.  I don't stress over it.  But it does make it difficult for me to talk up my work, play salesman for myself, when I have this thought in the back of my head that the work isn't good enough to sell yet.  The feeling that I might be ripping someone off by selling them my work at a price that isn't dirt cheap.  It's a common problem among artists, one that it's generally agreed you just have to push aside and ignore, defeat with the power of positive thinking.  And the Art of Zen.

I don't dwell on this as much as this post might make it seem.  It's just a thought that's crossed my mind lately, as I consider the next step I need to take to begin generating sales.  Anyone have any interesting thoughts on the matter?